Whose Line Is It Anyway YYH style
by DragonLass
Summary: Self explanatory- the YYH gang is on the Whose Line Is It Anyway? Show. Don't read this if you happen to be an avid Shishi fan. I don't want flames. Or I'll sic my rabid monkey on you. Really...


Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yu Yu Hakusho Style   
  
We had too much time. lol 

*** 

Chibikawa: Yea! I'm the host!   
Author: Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like Onji's skills...   
Chibikawa: On today's show we have: Kurama, Yusuke, Hiei, and Kuwabara.   
Author: Our players will act out scenes, sing songs, and we'll choose a fake winner, and that winner gets to do something special with Chibikawa!  
Chibikawa: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Mweeheeheeheeheehee! *Everybody backs away*  
  
Hiei: I still don't see what the point of all this is.   
Chibikawa: The first game we'll play is Sound Effects! That's right!   
Yusuke: But, this is a fanfic. How can you play Sound Effects?   
Chibikawa: We hired a brilliant dictatypist! *Botan waves*   
Author: All right. Rules of the game, two people will act out a scene while two others make their sound effects.   
Chibikawa: All right. So, Kurama and Yusuke, you'll act out the scene, and Hiei and Kuwabara will make the sound effects.   
Kuwabara: Oh, boy! I'm good at this.   
Yusuke: *smirks*   
Author: Your scene is...you're a couple of firemen responding to a fire. 

(Yusuke pretends to be sleeping. Kurama stands.)   
Hiei: ...   
Kuwabara: WEEWOOWEEWOOWEEWOO *Can't imagine it? Think of how a hoarse sparrow would sound if someone stepped on it repeatedly*   
(Kurama tries not to smirk, and walks calmly behind Yusuke as he pretend-hurries to his fire truck. Yusuke inserts the key into the ignition...)   
Kuwabara: GRUMGRUMGRUMGRUMGRUM   
Kurama: My, Yusuke, your car sounds horrible.   
Kuwabara: SHUT UP!   
Hiei: You're not supposed to say anything IDIOT.   
Kuwabara: Oh, a lot of help you're doing! You haven't made a single sound effect yet!   
Hiei: How about the sound of your BLOOD GUSHING FROM YOUR VEINS!!!   
Kurama: Yusuke, I do believe your fire truck is talking to itself.   
Yusuke: Yeah, I knew I never should have let Genkai mess with it. You never know what that old hag has up her sleeves.   
(Yusuke gets out of the firetruck, and makes a motion that looks a bit like a fancy flip onto a motorcycle. He cranks at the pedal)   
Kuwabara: OW Let go Hiei, I have to do a sound effect! VRUMBLEVRUMBLEVRUMBLE...   
Kurama: Uh, Yusuke, what if I fly you over to the fire?   
Yusuke: You can't...nevermind...   
Kuwabara: Flying? Hmm...WHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSHWHOOSH...   
Hiei: That's exactly what they'd sound like. IF THEY WERE DRUNK AND TIED TO A DUCK WITH EPILEPTIC FITS!   
Kuwabara: You know what? SHUT UP HIEI!   
Yusuke: Uh, Kurama did you get your pants fixed by Genkai? They're talking now too.   
Kurama: LOOK! There's the fire!  
Hiei: *black dragon flames are running up his arm from annoyance*  
Yusuke: Hey, wow, Kuwabara, that's really good, it actually sounds like fire!  
Kuwabara: It's not me! YOWCH! *Turns around* WHY YOU LITTLE! GIMME THAT ARM!  
Kurama: *Makes a halfhearted "I'm putting out a fire" motion - he's busy watching Kuwabara chase Hiei*  
Yusuke: Uh, Kurama, I think it's out now.  
Kurama: Huh? Oh...  
Chibikawa: I'm gonna push the buzzer now. *BUZZ*   
Author: Ok...1000 points to Hiei. *grins* Just because... 

Chibikawa: OKAY! The next game is 90-second Alphabet!   
Author: In this game, I'll give you a scene, and you guys have to make up lines for it. BUT, everything you say has to go in alphabetical order. Starting with...   
Chibikawa: S!   
Author: Okay! Everybody up! All right...who should start...   
Chibikawa: HIEI SHOULD START!   
Hiei: WHAT!   
Author: Yes, that's a fine idea. Okay, the scene is...Kuwabara is about to be runover by a kangaroo!   
Hiei: LOL!   
Yusuke: Wow, you guys have too much time on your hands.   
Chibikawa: OKAY...START!   
Hiei: Someone ought to take my place. I don't care if Kuwabara get's runover.   
Kurama: That would be cruel. *thinks that over a bit* Well...   
Kuwabara: Urameshi you'd better save me or I'll pound you!   
Yusuke: Very little chance of that, huh?   
Hiei: What exactly is the point of this?   
Kurama: xanthophobia - an irrational fear...of yellow.   
Kuwabara: You had to be random, didn't you?   
Yusuke: *mutters* dang, why'd I have to get z...uhm...Zebras, monkeys, and apes! OH MY!   
Hiei: And was that your professional advice, or personal opinion?   
Kurama: Better than what I could have come up with.   
Kuwabara: Come on! I'm about to be hit by a kangaroo here! Someone help me!   
Yusuke: Darn! I know I can think of something...   
Hiei: Eerie, isn't it...   
Kurama: For some reason, that kangaroo is taking a very long time.   
Kuwabara: Good thing too.   
Yusuke: HA!   
Hiei: ...I don't think that should count.   
Kurama: Just let him have it.   
Kuwabara: Kurama, I'm confused, do you mean let Yusuke have the word, or Hiei's supposed to sock me?   
Yusuke: Let me do it! I want to sock someone!   
Hiei: My, my, you think you can do better than a demon?   
Kurama: Now, now, we're getting off subject. What happened to the kangaroo?   
Kuwabara: Or did you mean I'm supposed to let Yusuke have it...   
Yusuke: Punch me and I'll tear your arms right out of their sockets.   
Hiei: Quality, Yusuke, quality. You don't want to be reduced to his level. I recommend a sword and...   
Kurama: Really, Hiei, must you always pick on him? He's not so terribly barbaric.   
Kuwabara: See?! At least someone believes in me.   
Chibikawa: *buzzes* And your ninety seconds are up (believe it or not)...uhm...200 points to Mokona! K!   
Author: And now a word from our sponsors. 

Koenma: Are you tired of being old and grumpy and far too ugly to help yourself? WELL GUESS WHAT? I DON'T CARE! Because I have the power to change into *changes into Big Koenma* A mightier, and better looking me! HAHA! 

Author: Welcome back to Whose Line. And now for our next game. Our namesake Whose Line Is It Anyway? Our audience has given us a bunch of random quotes. We've chosen four, which we've divided amongst our two contestants for this game, Yusuke and Kuwabara. They're going to play out a scene and use those quotes. Are we ready?

Chibikawa: Your scene is...two waitresses in a restaurant aspiring to be superheroes.   
Yusuke: WHAT?! I don't want to be a girl!   
Chibkawa: AHEM! GO!   
Yusuke: Fine...Hey...uh...   
Kuwabara: *high pitched squeaky voice* Oh how I wish I were a superhero!   
Yusuke: ^ ^'   
Kuwabara: *voice* That's all I've ever wanted ever since I was little and I heard my mother say," _I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!_"   
Yusuke: * Hearing Kurama cough and Hiei sputter behind him* Yes, me too. I remember my father used to walk me to school. And as he did he'd pat me on the back and say," _Owoo! Maa! Ledoledoledoloo!_"   
Kuwabara: *voice* Maybe we can become superheroes. We're women after all! We have power! As the great philosopher Plato used to say," _Goodbye, inkybutt!_"   
Yusuke: * Hiei looks like he's about to fall out of his chair laughing* Let's go down to city hall! We'll protest! Our slogan will be," _Must resist stupidity impulse!_"   
Chibikawa: *buzz*   
Hiei: *paralyzed with laughter...what an odd sight*   
Kurama: * He's smiling...but we all know he's laughing on the inside* 

Author: 1000 points to everybody. All right! Our next game is...Party Quirks! Each of our contestants has been given an interesting characteristic. Yusuke, you're the party host. Chibikawa will bring you each in with the doorbell. 

Yusuke: Party stuff, party stuff, party stuff...gee...I wonder when the guys will get here...   
Chibikawa: (ding dong)   
Yusuke: GEE I wonder who that could be. Oh, look its Kurama.   
Kurama: *obsessive ballroom dance teacher* And 1,2,3,1,2,3,1,2,3...   
Yusuke: ^ ^' Eh...nice to see you're still on that Richard Simmons workout routine...   
Chibikawa: Nope.   
Kurama: NO NO NO, lightly...on your toes! 1,2,3,1,2,3...   
Yusuke: Yeah...Stay away from the salsa dip...OH LOOK it's the doorbell...AHEM...   
Chibikawa: (ding dong)   
Yusuke: GEE I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE...   
Hiei: *a rookie assassin* Hello, Yusuke. Oops...dropped my machete there...er...I mean...butter knife...   
Yusuke: You carry silverware with you?   
Hiei: Always come prepared...Whoops...dang, must find a better place for that silver wire...I mean, floss...yes, floss...   
Yusuke: Right...eh...   
Chibikawa: (ding dong)   
Yusuke: gee...^ ^; I wonder who that...could be...   
Kuwabara: *rabid monkey* HOOHOOHOOHEEHEEHEEdribble dribble foam foam HOOHOO! *scratches armpits*   
Yusuke: You're looking pretty normal Kuwabara! What are you supposed to be?   
Chibikawa: SHHH...you have to guess!   
Yusuke: How can I guess, when he's acting like himself?   
Kuwabara: *growls and gnaws on Yusuke's arm* HOOHOOHOOHEEHEEHEE!   
Hiei: Here, let me help you with that. I'll just use my tranquilizing dart...I mean...er...monkey meds...that's right, I carry monkey medication.   
Kurama: *staring at Yusuke trying to shake Kuwabara the rabid monkey off* No no no...more with your hips! And keep your back straight! That's right...1,2,3,1,2,3...   
Yusuke: You keep out of this you freaky dance teacher...   
Chibikawa: *buzz* Yep. He's an obsessive ballroom dance teacher.   
Kurama: *bows, then goes back to his seat*   
Yusuke: Let go of me, you stupid freaking...rabid...Kuwabara!   
Chibikawa: *buzz* Close enough. He's a rabid monkey.   
Yusuke: And, Hiei's a clumsy killer or something.   
Chibikawa: Yep, he's a rookie assassin. All right! *buzzes*   
Author: 20 points to Kuwabara...*grins* For acting like himself...   
Kuwabara: HEY!  
Author: We'll be back! 

Koenma: I just want everyone to know, that I'm doing this for the money! That's right, I'm motivated by cash. And if you are too, dial this toll free number 1-800-555-5553. Because you have a disorder, that is rightfully mine, and THAT'S NOT RIGHT! 

Author: We're back. The game is Three Headed Broadway Star! Now for this game, normally we'd just let them sing, but today let's choose someone from the audience. How about. YOU THERE! With the blue hair! Shishi!   
Shishi Wakamaru: YES! MY CHANCE AT STARDOM!   
Author: Yeah...okay, so...Kurama, Yusuke and Hiei will be singing this round. And what do you do?   
Shishi: I'm an aspiring star!   
Author: ok...You guys are going to sing a song about Shishi. And our pianist is Shizuru!   
Kuwabara: Hey! I didn't know my sister could play the piano...   
Shizuru: It comes from actually practicing, BABY BROTHER. 

Chibikawa: Start!   
Kurama: You're   
Hiei: Not   
Yusuke: Very   
Kurama: Smart   
Hiei: Because   
Yusuke: Your   
Kurama: Flowers   
Hiei: Died   
Yusuke: All   
Kurama: of   
Hiei: Life   
Yusuke: Seems   
Kurama: Always   
Hiei: Not   
Yusuke: On   
Kurama: Your   
Hiei: Side   
Yusuke: Now   
Kurama: Everthing   
Hiei: Sucks   
Yusuke: For   
Kurama: You   
Hiei: Because   
Yusuke: You're   
Kurama: Such   
Hiei: A   
Yusuke: Sissy   
Shishi: HEY!!!   
Kurama: You   
Hiei: Were   
Yusuke: Whooped   
Kurama: And   
Hiei: Your   
Yusuke: Name   
Kurama: Is   
Hiei: Shishi! 

Chibikawa: *BUZZ* Cool! 20 bazillion points to everybody! Our next game is...Props! 

Author: The teams are Kuwabara and Yusuke, and Hiei and Kurama 

(Hiei and Kurama get something that looks like a long coiled slinky. Yusuke and Kuwabara get something that looks like a couple of flat clouds) 

Chibikawa: Okay, Yusuke and Kuwabara first. 

Yusuke: SPIRIT GUN! *Kuwabara waves clouds around* Drat...must have a hangnail or something....*shake shake shake* 

*buzz* 

Kurama: Hiei, you were supposed to disable the Enchantress, not kill her *looking at the little coil on the floor*   
Hiei: Oh, well, didn't much like her outfit anyway. 

*buzz* 

Kuwabara: Look there's a plane! Get the smoke ready! *flap flap flaps the smoke* 

*buzz* 

Kurama: Well, I'll be darned, *staring at the coil* It's a genuine Wire-thin rattlesnake...hey come here Hiei and poke it, and see if it will...AUGH! *Hiei throws it at him* 

*buzz* 

Kuwabara: Look! I'm Jin! WHOOSH! *Clouds coming out of his...feet...* 

*buzz* 

Kurama: Hiei, I think that bandage is too big.   
Hiei: Really? What makes you say that? *wrapped up like a mummy* 

*buzz*  
  
Author: Great! 30000 points to everybody! 

Chibikawa: Next we have...THE IRISH DRINKING SONG! The topic is Kuwabara's Chances With Yukina!  
Author: Everybody up! 

(Shizuru plays the intro) 

YHKK: Oh, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy high! 

Yusuke: Yukina was an ice maiden,   
Hiei: She's dating a big turd   
Kuwabara: HEY. I'll love her quite so faithfully   
Kurama: She loves to sing with birds 

Yusuke: Her tears are very valuable   
Hiei: You'd better not make her cry!   
Kuwabara: I'm not that scared of Hiei   
Kurama: Of course we know he lies. 

YHKK: Oh, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy high! 

Hiei: I hope he chokes himself to death   
Kuwabara: You're jealous of my skill!   
Kurama: Oh, good, it's not my turn to rhyme!   
Yusuke: I hope he wrote a will! 

Hiei: I'm sharpening my sword tonight   
Kuwabara: I'll be her one true man   
Kurama: All this talk makes me feel sick   
Yusuke: Can someone lend a hand? 

YHKK: Oh, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy high! 

Kuwabara: I'll send her lots of flowers   
Kurama: That smell like a spring breeze   
Yusuke: I don't see what the fuss is for   
Hiei: I'll slit his throat with ease 

Kuwabara: What's Hiei got against me, man?   
Kurama: He's threatened by your size.   
Yusuke: Yeah, the size of space between your ears.   
Hiei: And the blank look in his eyes. 

YHKK: Oh, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy high! 

Kurama: If you want to win her heart   
Yusuke: You'll give her something rare   
Hiei: He'd probably buy something rotten   
Kuwabara: I'd choose a gift with care. 

Kurama: It all seems pretty hopeless   
Yusuke: With Hiei as a brother   
Hiei: Well what did you expect from me?   
Kuwabara: Hey, maybe you're her mother! 

YHKK: Oh, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy high!   
YHKK: Oh, hidy, hidy, hidy, hidy...hidy...hidy...high! 

Chibikawa: GREAT! 200 points to Hiei!! We'll be right back after this word from our sponsors!  
Hiei: Mother! I'll MOTHER YOU! COME HERE!  
Kuwabara: ACK! Quick! Someone call the police...  
  
Koenma: ... 

Author: Now it's time for a great game called, The Millionaire Show! Kurama you're the host, Kuwabara, you're the contestant. Hiei you're the audience, and Yusuke, you're the phone. Okay! Go! 

Kurama: All right, Kuwabara, you're 40,000 dollars away from 1 MILLION DOLLARS! Now, this next question is worth 20 dollars! All right?!   
Kuwabara: Cool.   
Kurama: All right, so here's the question. For twenty dollars, " How much wood, could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" A. 1, B. Four metric tons, C. What kind of question is that?, or D. Three teaspoons.   
Kuwabara: Uh...well, I think I'll use my...oh, darn...uhm...Audience lifeline.   
Kurama: All right. Let's have the audience vote. Audience!   
Hiei: E!!! None of the above and I NEED TO KILL HIM!   
Kurama: The audience says, A!   
Kuwabara: Uhm...okay...well, I say...D.   
Kurama: Is that your FINAL ANSWER?   
Kuwabara: Uhm...yep.   
Kurama: Oh, I'm so sorry...   
Kuwabara: Aw...   
Kurama: But, you're going to have to stay a bit longer, because YOU GUESS RIGHT! You're twenty dollars closer to 1 million dollars!!!   
Kuwabara: YEAH!   
Kurama: Okay, this next question is worth...whatever is left over...   
Kuwabara: K.   
Kurama: Okay, for one million dollars," What is the average airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?" A. Finland, B. African or European, C. Blue, or D. Cheesy poofs?   
Kuwabara: Hmm..that's tricky. I think I'll need a lifeline.   
Kurama: Ok.   
Kuwabara: I think I'll call my friend...Eugene.   
Yusuke: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT!   
Kurama: Apparently, Yusuke is on the line. Yusuke, can you help your friend with this question.   
Yusuke: Well, let me think. I think the answer is B.   
Kuwabara: Hmm...I'll go with that.   
Kurama: Is that your final answer?   
Kuwabara: Yep.   
Kurama: Oh...I'm sorry...YOU'VE JUST WON A MILLION DOLLARS! 

Chibikawa: *BUZZ* Good job all! NO POINTS! Just because I say so! Tonights winner is Kurama! 

(Everybody cheers)

Author: Now, normally we'd play a game like Hoedown, but my fingers are still tangled from typing that Irish Drinking Song, so let's play Let's Make A Date! Kuwabara is looking for a date...

Kuwabara: BUT I HAVE YUKI-

Author: AHEM! I said. KUWABARA IS LOOKING FOR A DATE! And Hiei, Chibikawa, and Yusuke are the bachelor...ettes...or something. Yep.

Chibikawa: They've each been given an odd quirk.

Hiei: (Opens his envelope) HA!  
Yusuke: (Opens his...) Aw no...  
Chibikawa: (Opens hers) *Blink blink*

Kuwabara: *the voice* All right. Bachelor number 1! I love walking by the seashore on moonlit nights. What do you like to do when the moon is high?

Hiei: *himself* I like to wait in the branches of a tree with a dagger and an urge to kill you.  
Kuwabara: ^ ^' Eh heh...okay...Yeah, you sound very...Bachelor number 2. Same questions!  
Yusuke: *Paranoid murderer on trial* What?! What IS IT WITH THESE QUESTIONS ABOUT NIGHT? I didn't do anything! I swear! Not a thing. NO SIR. I'm clean as a whistle.  
Kuwabara: All right, all right, geez you don't have to get so defensive...  
Yusuke: I'm not being defensive!  
Kuwabara: Bachelor #3. How would you describe me?   
Chibikawa: * A small rather bored toad* Croak...  
Kuwabara: Well you don't have to get insulting...Bachelor number 1, same question!  
Hiei: I've told you this hundreds of times. You're barbaric, inferior, and not worth the dirt I scrape from my shoes!  
Kuwabara: WELL! I don't know how you got into this show, but REALLY! Bachelor number 2! If we were having a dinner alone what would you do?  
Yusuke: Well, *nervous laugh* I'd...I'd...well I certainly wouldn't have come with a knife...or a gun...or...nope...I'M INNOCENT I SWEAR!!!!  
Kuwabara: ^^' uh...yeah...Bachelor number 3 same questions.  
Chibikawa: ribbit...croak...  
  
Kurama: *buzz*  
Kuwabara: Ok...I think Hiei is a jerk.  
Kurama: *grins* Close. *Hiei shoots him a dirty look*  
Kuwabara: I think Yusuke is some paranoid guy.  
Kurama: He's a paranoid murderer.  
Kuwabara: And I think...uh...Chibikawa is a frog.  
Hiei: She's a toad you kumquat!  
Kuwabara: WHO YOU CALLING A KUMQUAT!  
  
Author: And that ends the game!!!!  
Chibikawa: Thanks for watching!


End file.
